“SBD believes that destroying statues creates a foul stench in our culture which will linger for years and years.”
Plandemic 9 From Outer Space
“We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aeroplane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television! And now some of us laugh at the idea of government scientists from outer space. God help us... in the future.”
If Trump had been president instead of George Washington
Donald Trump’s leadership makes you appreciate other leaders we’ve had, however flawed they may have been. Just imagine if Trump had been president instead of these guys:
The Fakest Parts of “Rain Man”
For a film that won four Oscars, I’m surprised they weren’t able to weed out a few odd and distracting details.
Conclusion Sections From All the 5th Grade Science Fair Projects That Got Thrown Together at the Last Minute
“It turns out that a watched pot does boil, but only if you use just a little bit of water.”
The Norma Desmond Presidency
All right Mr. DeMille. Donald Trump is ready for his closeup.
Michelle Tanner From "Full House" Interviews President Trump
President Trump is sick and tired of dealing with terrible, threatening reporters. That’s why in his latest exclusive interview, he would only agree to speak with the nicest, least-threatening person you can imagine: 4 year-old Michelle Tanner from “Full House.”
The Post-Pandemic Class Schedule For 4th Grade
If you have a child who is going into 4th grade once the pandemic is over, please go ahead and print this page. This will be their class schedule for the first day back.
The Eleven Best Product Placements in Hip Hop History
Featuring Sugarhill Gang, 2-Pac, Beastie Boys, and more.
Common Parenting Tips Adapted for People Whose Kids are Completely Out of Control and Also For People Whose Kid Is Zack Morris
Finally, here is a resource that meets every parent’s needs.
I would like to hear these people’s opinions about the 2020 election
First of all, how about a 100 year old anti-Trump military veteran first time voter?
The Worst Relationship Advice Ever Found in a Pop Song
None of it strikes me as particularly good advice.
All the Different Reviews That You Can Post for My Book, “Johnny’s Brand New Big Boy Bike”
Have you posted a positive review of my book yet? Find out how quick and easy it can be!
Interview With Hawk Gates About His Debut Children’s Book, "Johnny’s Brand New Big Boy Bike"
I’m excited to announce that the following interview is the closest I have ever gotten to being on Fresh Air with Terry Gross.
Politicians, Please Don’t Try to Solve Any Problems
These “leaders” think that we can IDENTIFY PROBLEMS and then SOLVE them by WORKING TOGETHER and creating laws, policies, and programs. It’s ridiculous.
The Definitive List of Reverse-Bandwagon Teams
People can’t help but love a bandwagon team. They can’t help but hate a reverse-bandwagon team. These are the biggest reverse-bandwagon teams of my lifetime.
The Biggest Bandwagon Teams of My Lifetime
These are the teams that inspired many hat, jersey, and Starter jacket purchases. These teams caused many bandwagon jumpers to be asked in shock and disbelief by friends and loved ones, “Since when are you a _________ fan?”
What is Baby-Led Weaning? Should I Try It With My Child?
Baby-Led Weaning is all the rage right now.
"Back to the Future Part IV: Trump Trouble"
I’ve written the perfect add-on to the “Back to the Future” franchise. Part IV features Marty, Doc, Biff, Marty's parents, Jennifer, Ivanka, Jared, Donald Trump, and Gordon Sondland. Come for the action-packed fun! Stay for the political ingtrigue!
List: Questions I Have for the Lady Who Was Flossing While Driving
“Have you wondered whether or not it might be a safety hazard to drive down a busy road with no hands on the steering wheel while staring intently at the inside of your mouth in the rearview mirror?”